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The Devil’s in the Details

More? Not Necessarily Better

Jen had no idea where the bus stop was, so she stopped the first person she found.

The woman was a good six inches shorter than Jen. Most of her brown hair was tucked into a knit cap, and she was wearing a bright blue raincoat with a row of white stars on the pocket. “It’s down that way,” she told Jen, pointing. “About two blocks.”

“Thanks,” Jen said. To her relief, she got to the stop a minute before the bus did.

Now we know a lot about Jen’s savior.

But… why?

If the point of the scene is that Jen needs to catch that bus to get to a job interview on time, we need to rush through this situation as quickly as Jen does—so bringing things to a halt to tell us about the woman’s raincoat not only isn’t necessarily, it interferes with the pacing of the scene.

Unless the woman appears again later on, and what she’s wearing tells us something we need to know about her (whether she’s trustworthy, or homeless, or she’s someone who wants that job as badly as Jen does), we don’t need to know what she’s wearing. In fact, the only important thing about her is that she provides Jen with the information she needs.

Jen had no idea where the bus stop was, so she stopped the first person she found.

“It’s down that way,” the woman told Jen, pointing. “About two blocks.”

“Thanks,” Jen said. To her relief, she got to the stop a minute before the bus did.

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